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1. Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money
to
start with.
2. Reintarnation:
Coming back to life as a
hillbilly.
3. Bozone
(n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign of
breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation about yourself
for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration
(n.): The act of buying a house,
which renders the subject financially impotent
for an
indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very
high.
7. Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get
it.
8. Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously when
you are running late.
9. Hipatitis:
Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis:
A degenerate's disease. (This
one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon:
It's like, when everybody is
sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then,
like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious
bummer.
12. Decafalon
(n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are
good
for you.
13. Glibido:
All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler
effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic
fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug
(n.): Satan in the form of a
mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three
in the morning
and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor
(n.): The color you turn after
finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
And the
pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus:
A person who's both stupid and a pain in the
rear.
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